Reality Show Algebra
April 10th, 2009Animal Planet is hosting the Red Carpet Opening Night event for the second season of “Groomer Has It” this Saturday night. To catch you up, GHI is Animal Planet’s version of American’s Next Top Model, only theirs is with dogs and groomers…. and the challenges have less to do with runways and more to do with animal shelters and dog parks but you get the drift. Personally, I wasn’t so happy with the results of GHI 1. At the end of last season the gentleman awarded the title was a rookie groomer with a sad tale who tugged on everyone’s heartstrings with some story about having come two years previously from a bad South Central LA neighborhood and caring for his sick momma or grandmomma and his child. He has in direct competition with a veteran groomer who only brought experience to the competition and as anyone who watches reality competition will tell you, it’s not EVER about who sings the best (else how do you explain Megan Joy Corkrey making it to the Top 8 on American Idol this season?) or who can dance the best (can you say Cloris Leachman?) It’s about who has got the best backstory.
Backstories tug at peoples heartstrings and make you want to root for someone- usually the underdog- and that makes people tune in. People tuning in equals ratings. Ratings are good for Reality Shows therefore Backstories are good for Reality Shows. On the chalkboard it would look something like this:
Backstories + Personable Contestant = Underdog
Underdog = Someone to Root for + Tuning in Regularly
Someone to Root for + Tuning In Regularly = Huge Ratings
Therefore
Backstories + Personable Contestant = Huge Ratings
I didn’t necessarily have anything against the winner Artist- he just didn’t have a lot of experience. And now to find out that after winning he couldn’t make it in the “real world”, so three guesses what he is going to do now? You guessed it. He’s filming a reality show for Animal Planet, “Artist’s Beverly Hills Groomer.” Care to tell me what a kid from the other side of town knows about Beverly Hills? Now my blood is beginning to boil and I rarely get mad about much.
Host Jai Rodriquez and Nemo
The host of the show is Jai Rodriguez, formerly of ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’, but oh so much more charming here. However, the real star of this show is Jai’s Yorkshire Terrier, Nemo. A cuter dog you would never hope to meet. Nemo brings notes to the contestants telling them where to gather for their next assignment like Mission Impossible XXXVI (and then one of those lucky contestants gets to bring Nemo with them.) Nemo shines brighter than anyone else.
THE JUDGES
Groomer Has It’s reigning Diva’s are the panel of judges which makes Top Chef’s Tom Colicchio look tame in comparison- and I didn’t think that was humanly possible. Animal Planet assembled a team of judges who collectively thrash the contestants at the end of each show:
Karen “Doc” Halligan, DVM
I’ll spare you her CV with the exception to say that she’s earned her place at the table- Doc Halligan is currently the Director of Veterinary Services at the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, Los Angeles (SPCA LA). It’s safe to say that Doc is the “Paula” of the group. She’s knowledgeable at her craft and kind in what she says to the groomers.
Joey Villani
Joey is THE judge of the group. An International Judges Association (IJA) registered judge with over 34 of grooming expertise, he brings enthusiasm and experience. Fond of saying, “That’s IT, Baby!” when he sees something he likes, its easy to follow his line of reasoning. Joey is the “Randy of the group.
Xavier Santiago
Xavier, the third judge, comes from the world of canine competition where he would attend some 75 shows a year. He owned, trained, handled and showed world champion Alaskan Malamutes, going on to expand his knowledge to other groups including the sporting, non-sporting, herds, and hounds. He’s “Simon”- snarky and mean.
So we have one vet, one judge, and one handler. I wish Animal Planet showed us more of the debate of what is said between them so we could get a feel of why the decisions are made. As it is, Daisy and I are left feeling somewhat cheated… and wondering whether we should waste our time watching. But Daisy likes dog shows and so do I. As there aren’t many of them, and we are reality show junkies, we’ll do the math and keep you apprised of the results.











